"Please don't eat the records."

When I was a kid, I checked out records frequently from various county library branches.  Whenever an album had a defect, a librarian would write it down on a damage noted sticker and attach it to the record's checkout pocket.  At most branches, you'd see sporadic stickers on the albums with unsurprising notations, such as "Side 1, Track 3 skips," "Side 2 scratched," or "Record warped."  At one branch, however, I wondered if patrons understood that records were intended to be played on turntables.  Frequently, I would see damage-noted stickers on their albums that read, "White-out on Side 1," "Glitter on Side 2," or "Barbecue sauce on both sides."  "How on Earth do people mistake records for typing paper, decorations, or lunch?" I thought.  It's a wonder that library didn't take a cue from Peppermint Patty.  The way she scolded Marcie for ruining the eggs in "It's The Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown," if transcribed almost verbatim on a sign, might have helped preserve the quality of at least some albums.  (i.e. "These records are not to be fried.  Nor are they to be roasted, toasted, or waffled.")