Only in college XLI

Another excerpt from my "Spontaneous Mental Combustion Department" writings:  On November 13, 1991, I wrote, "The University Philharmonic and Choral Union will add that festive touch to your holiday season by presenting Mozart's 'Requiem.'  However, if death masses are not to your taste, the rousing encore of 'Frosty The Snowman' should warm your heart..."

Admittedly, I was a tad more acerbic at age 21.

Only in college XL

During the first semester of my junior year in college, I wrote the equivalent of a blog on paper; I called it "The Spontaneous Mental Combustion Department."  Only a few friends ever saw it.  Here's an excerpt from it that I wrote on October 1, 1991:

"...When I went down to the station this afternoon, I noticed a sign on the door, 'Until further notice, KCOU is off the air.  The transmitter had a small meltdown.'  I knew I should have turned off that switch below the sound board.  Oh, well...I wonder if they'll still let me make a demo tape?"

I actually didn't forget to turn anything off, and I didn't cause the transmitter's meltdown.  Reading that now makes the difference between age 20 and age 47 stand out to me, though.  My reaction to a transmitter meltdown wouldn't be that flippant today.

"Not for me, but maybe you'll like it..."

One of the first in-station album reviews I read at KCOU was in 1991.  The reviewer had written on the critique sheet for ABC's "Abracadabra" CD, "Three people who will like this album more than I do: my mom, my sister, my hairdresser."  Sometimes, a music reviewer must admit, "This (artist, album, or genre) isn't my cup of tea, but there's an audience for it."

SiriusXM highlights LXXXIV

Standout tracks heard this morning:

The Bridge

• Colour My World-Chicago (One of the most memorable pop music piano intros, with sincere, heartfelt lyrics and moving flute accompaniment.  Although it stands up on its own, it should also be heard as part of the seven-track "Ballet For A Girl In Buchannon" sequence on the "Chicago II" album.)
• Give A Little-Nicolette Larson (The melody reminds me somewhat of James Taylor and J.D. Souther's "Her Town Too," set to a backing track with elements of Ambrosia and Stephen Bishop.)

Deep Tracks

• Hoedown-Emerson, Lake & Palmer (Not every Classical piece lends itself to such an electrified treatment, but this Aaron Copland selection does.) 

Escape

• Snowbird-Chet Atkins (Anne Murray's song works well as a fast guitar instrumental, especially the way Atkins plays it.) 

Real Jazz

• Valse Hot-Larry Goldings (A beguiling waltz for organ.)

Spa

• Vivaldi: Concerto in D minor For Two Mandolins, RV.532: Andante-Yo-Yo Ma & Bobby McFerrin (A tender highlight from the cello and voice collaboration release, "Hush."  Also recommended: McFerrin's composition, "Stars.") 

Tom Petty Radio

• Rockhouse (Parts 1&2)-Ray Charles (Dazzling, straight ahead jazzy/bluesy piano and rhythm section playing, with appealing brass punctuation.)

Stingray Music highlights LII

Noteworthy tunes heard this morning:

Adult Alternative

• Will The Wolf Survive?-Los Lobos  (A track that works on more than one level.  An interesting subject for a song: How do you adapt to a new culture while respecting your heritage?)

Alt Country-Americana 

• Not Dark Yet-Shelby Lynne & Allison Moorer (Lynne and Moorer pull off Bob Dylan's lyrics about feeling hopeless and waiting for wounds to heal movingly.)

Cocktail Lounge

• Light My Fire-Shirley Bassey (Bassey deserves credit for moxie here.  She turns a well-known Doors tune into a jazzy, forthright arrangement with lush orchestral backing.) 

Folk Roots

• This Road-John McCutcheon (McCutcheon's deep, heartfelt voice shines a light on seemingly ordinary topics, looking at them--in this case, where a road leads--in a way some listeners might not have considered.  "This Road" is from McCutcheon's new release, "Ghost Light.") 

Jazz Now

• I Came To See You/You Were Not There-Ahmad Jamal (Ornate, contemplative piano.)
• When I Fall In Love-Ariel Pocock (An elegant, sublime piano-anchored cover, with no more frills in the melody than necessary.)

Revival--'60s & '70s

• You'll Never Get To Heaven (If You Break My Heart)-Dionne Warwick (Talk about lyrics that up the ante.  Warwick sings them with effective, matter-of-fact resignation.)

Suitable traffic report music

Has any album rock station ever used "Flexible Strategies," the flip side of The Police's "Spirits In The Material World" 45, as a music bed for traffic reports?  The instrumental mimics a car horn convincingly without being obnoxious.

Perfect pitch? Nein. Enthusiasm? Ja!

Once, at WEW, I had time to play one more song before the top-of-the-hour news.  After looking through CDs to find a tune of suitable length, I settled on "You, You, You Are The One" by Russ Morgan and his orchestra.  As I listened to it in cue, I thought, "This tune sounds strangely familiar."  When I played it on the air, I remembered.  The song is the American version of the German tune, "Du, Du liegst mir im Herzen," which my German I teacher in high school sang to the class.  Before singing it, he warned all of us about his supposedly limited singing ability.  "I'm loud, but I'm not good," he told us.  He made up for any slight inaccuracies in pitch by singing out with gusto, especially when the lyrics, "Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja," came up.

About halfway through the song, a listener called and said, "Thank you for playing 'You, You, You Are The One!'  I've always liked that song, and it brings back memories."

I wonder how she would have liked my German I teacher's version.  To hear the tune in German, seek out the version by Lustige Musikanten & The Bavarian Singers.

Ideal radio talk show music III

Hosting a talk show that begins at 9 p.m. or later?  Let the sly groove of Incogntio's "After The Fall" set the scene.  Released in 1995, the tune's seamless blend of trumpet, percussion, guitar, bass, and synthesizer coalesces into a smooth jazz hook that sounds just as fresh 23 years later.  If a TV drama's credits showed someone driving home from work late at night, this would be ideal underscoring.  "After The Fall" pulls off the clever trick of being subtle enough to blend into the background yet bold enough to be the center of attention during a talk show's intro or outro.

A sobering song goes down easier...

...when you listen to it with a content, purring cat:

One recent day, I listened to Cheryl Wheeler's "The Rivers," an effective, ominous tune about the dangers of pollution.  I know that petting my cat, Sylvia, and listening to her purr won't solve such a large environmental issue, but I continue to recycle--and remember, thanks to my cat, that there's still a lot of goodness in the world.

Persistent earworm alert LXXXV

I've never been particularly athletic, nor have I ever suffered from athlete's foot.  Still, decades after hearing the radio jingle, "Nobody knows the athlete's foot like The Athlete's Foot," in the '80s, it still comes to mind half the time when I put on shoes.  Usually, my memory of the jingle also includes the announcer's commercial-ending tag, "Run right in!"  Often, when I hear other radio commercials attempting to drum up excitement for a sale, I'll say, "Run right in," under my breath.

I've heard scores of shoe store commercials over the years; none of their jingles, however, have stuck in my mind the way that Athlete's Foot one has.  Ironically, despite the constant mental reminders, I've never shopped there.

A linguistic irritant

I wish reporters would stop referring to radio announcers as golden throats.  When an announcer has a good voice, just call him or her a smooth-voiced announcer and leave it at that.  In my opinion, "golden throat" sounds hokey and overwritten.

New season optimism

In retrospect, the first day of high school orchestra class had an energy similar to the first day of baseball season.  A bit of time had passed since the players came together in pursuit of a common goal, so there was some partially justified and partially misguided optimism about the new season.  On that first day, the pressure is on, considering the clock is ticking.  However, the pressure is also off at the same time.  On the first day of orchestra rehearsal, the first concert is still off in the distance, so the players aren't expected to sight-read the music perfectly.  Similarly, the baseball season is so long that most fans will forgive at least a few early season losses.

Steering into the skid

Has any radio or TV station ever announced an unexpected personnel change using Harry Connick, Jr.'s version of "It's Alright With Me?"  The first 13 seconds of it are ideal for conveying, "This might not be the successor you envisioned, but this will work."

Savvy marketing

I'd just taken over as jazz director at KCOU when I received my first letter from a record label, touting new releases.  "Dear Jazz Guru," it began.  Although it was a mass-produced form letter, the flattery worked.  It made me receptive to the rest of the letter and all the more inclined to hear the label's new music.  Deep down, what music director doesn't like being referred to as a guru?

Online radio sampler highlights LXXI (Valentine's Day edition)

Five noteworthy tracks heard today:

KWMU-2 (St. Louis, MO)

• I Get A Kick Out Of You-Louis Armstrong (Some vocalists make the mistake of sounding too slick or contrived when singing this.  Armstrong doesn't, opting for a more sincere approach.)

WUMB (Boston, MA)

• Close To Me-Lake Street Dive (Rachael Price sings these "Proceed with caution" lyrics with considerable conviction and bluesy grit.)

WXPN (Philadelphia, PA)

• The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face-Roberta Flack (A natural fit for Flack's voice.)
• You Are The Sunshine Of My Life-Stevie Wonder (Some sentiments flow so naturally, you wonder how no one had written or sung them until then.  Seek out the episode of "Saturday Night Live" Wonder hosted in the '80s, in which he pretends his real name is Trevor Smith and leads the audience in a reworked version of this famous hit, retitled "You Are The Sunshine Of Me Life.")
• Love Will Keep Us Together-The Captain & Tennille (Still one of the best pop hooks about holding onto someone; it doesn't surprise me that this was the most popular song of 1975.)

Persistent earworm alert LXXXIV

In 2018, it's unusual to promote one's business with a jingle that sounds like a disco version of "Taxman" by The Beatles, with elements of Heatwave's "Boogie Nights" and INXS's "Suicide Blonde."  Spectrum Eyeglass Repair's radio commercial uses such a jingle, however, and I'll be damned if it's not effective.  Since hearing it on KTRS this afternoon, it has been on a fixed mental loop for me.  My glasses are fine, but if they ever break, Spectrum will probably be the first place that comes to mind.  If the commercial had just been a straightforward recitation of Spectrum's positive business practices, it would likely have faded into the background, and I wouldn't have remembered it.  Combining an unusual mix of musical styles in a jingle that overwhelms even the announcer in its own commercial got my attention, however.

When you won't be right back...

I hardly ever hear any radio personality say, "We'll be right back," anymore.  I suppose that's not surprising, considering how many stations run commercials in large clusters. 

"We'll be back in eight minutes," would be the forthright way of leveling with listeners in some dayparts.  Although it doesn't convey the immediacy of "We'll be right back," I'd have to respect any announcer who is that honest on the air.

An alternate definition of pay-to-play

When I was in college, the orchestra director gave the ensemble a new reason for performing better during a hit-and-miss rehearsal.

"There's talk of charging admission to our (previously free) concerts," he told the orchestra.  "Would you pay admission to hear that?!"

I thought but didn't say, "Probably not, but the concert is almost a month away.  By that time, everyone will undoubtedly have their music down.  This is a rehearsal.  Musicians make mistakes at rehearsals that they won't make in concert, once they've practiced their music frequently and played it at enough rehearsals."

The concert turned out well, as I figured it would, and the audience got its money's worth.  As far as I know, no one asked for a refund.

Lyrics fit for a Valentine

I've never heard "Only Always" by Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers on any radio station or streaming service.  On or around Valentine's Day, however, any music service with the freedom and format to do so should play it.  When two people are as determined to call or see each other as fervently as the woman in Bluhm's song, it's a match worth holding onto.

Good intentions, maybe, but wrong titles

It sounds obvious, but if you're a DJ, make sure to announce song titles correctly.  I've heard Brook Benton's "Rainy Night In Georgia" announced incorrectly as "Lousy Night In Georgia," Melissa Manchester's "You Should Hear How She Talks About You" announced as "You Should Hear What She Says About You," and Vikki Carr's version of "It Must Have Been The Mistletoe" inadvertently renamed "Blame It On The Mistletoe."

If you make such a mistake on the air, you can bet that at least a few listeners will react the way a former co-worker did while listening to a radio newscast.  The announcer mentioned an event that took place "at The Shipwreck Saloon."  My co-worker shouted at the radio, "It's The Trainwreck, not The Shipwreck!"  Or, some listeners will react the way I did when I read a newspaper's review of a concert by Eric Carmen; the reviewer identified him as the former lead singer of The Strawberries.  "Wrong produce!" I exclaimed, although no one was around to hear me.  "He sang lead with The Raspberries!"

Channeling "Calvin And Hobbes?"

I've had an odd recurring dream for years.  A radio advice show host, hit by the flu, asks his pet tiger, who inexplicably speaks English, to fill in for him.  The tiger brings, shall we say, a different frame of reference to the table than the host.  His first caller says she's fed up with the rude treatment she has received from a group of people.  (Sometimes, in the dream, her antagonists are friends who have drifted apart.  Other times, they're in-laws or co-workers.)  The tiger thinks for a moment and then says, "Hmmm...That's a tough one, but I'd recommend devouring them whole."

What else would you expect a talk show tiger host to say?  After all, we're all products of our environment.

Another indicator of a DJ's mindset is...

...checking your thermometer and singing softly to yourself, to the tune of Foreigner's "Hot Blooded," "Thank goodness I'm still alive, despite a fever of one-hundred-point-five..."

That was my temperature not too long ago.  It also exceeded 101 a few times, but immediate, natural-sounding rhymes didn't come to mind for those temperatures.  Time to go back to sleep...

FM dial scan highlights XCV

Saturday through Tuesday standouts:

KDHX 88.1 FM

• I Was A Fool-Sunflower Bean (My favorite song of 2018, so far.  That might sound like faint praise, as it's only February 6.  Nevertheless, this track from the "Twentytwo In Blue" release, due out March 23, combines at least three strong elements; Julia Cumming's vocals remind me of Blondie and Harriet Wheeler from The Sundays, the guitar arrangement brings the best of Real Estate to mind, and the alternating vocals between Nick Kivlen and Cumming remind me a bit of The Human League.)
• Right Back Where We Started From-Army Navy (The Maxine Nightingale hit, reworked to fun, energetic effect with crunchy guitars and indie rock vocals.)

WSIE 88.7 FM

• Novocaine Heart-Kandace Springs (When your heart takes a pounding, it takes considerable fortitude to grapple with the pain.  Springs sings with a strong, convincing level of pathos here.)
• Limehouse Blues-Lionel Hampton (The rhythm section's prowess with a brisk melody and Hampton's mastery of a propulsive vibraphone part conjure up images of the hippest train on the tracks.)

K297BI 107.3 FM, a.k.a. KNOU-HD2

• Machine Gun-The Commodores (Yes, you read that right.  The same station that plays copious amounts of Beethoven, Mahler, and Vivaldi also has room during "The Jazz Collective" on Saturdays to accommodate the first hit by The Commodores.  Seemingly scored for an early '70s action film, this instrumental, which would segue well with Billy Preston's "Outa-Space," has a very different sound for the band that would become known mostly for Lionel Richie's ballads.)

An overlooked cover tune XLIII

Thanks to an infectious rhythm track and sing-along vocals, Sly & The Family Stone's "Sing A Simple Song" has endured on the radio for 50 years.  In 1969, however, The Meters recorded a noteworthy instrumental cover of it.  The of-its-time organ accompaniment and rhythm section as a whole show that the tune stands on its own, even without vocals.  Music beds just don't get much funkier than this, and the tune's confident strut is right in line with scores of other Meters tracks.

"Just the stats, please..."

In all the years I did radio sports reports, I'm proud that I avoided one of the most overused cliches.  When spotlighting a player's achievements on the field, I never once said, "He (or she) came to play."  When a player racked up major points, I thought the numbers spoke for themselves.

Reconsidered merit II

I've written about my appreciation for singer-songwriters many times on this blog.  On the surface, Billy Joel's "Piano Man" would appear to be my kind of song.  It tells the story of a cast of characters who listen to the entertainer's music at a bar and mentions the challenges they face in life.  I rarely listen to it all the way through when it's on the radio, though.  Something about it just doesn't click with me.

Recently, however, after listening to "Betty's Diner" by Carrie Newcomer, I've been viewing "Piano Man" in a different light.  Both songs capture a cross section of humanity.  Maybe the people in the songs haven't always made the best decisions; still, as a human being, you can't help but root for them and hope that things will turn out alright for all of them.

"Piano Man" will never capture my attention the way "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" does.  Nevertheless, I understand why it resonates with so many listeners.

Giving the instructor his due?

At the end of a tape critique session, the other broadcasting school students and I got up to leave.  The instructor, a St. Louis radio veteran, asked sarcastically, "What? No 'Thank you for nurturing our careers...'?"  No one batted an eye at this, as we all understood.  Radio is a precarious business.  When you have to move from station to station, earning only modest amounts of money, how could you not be at least a tad jaded and acerbic?

A pre-Google consultation

Approximately 23 years ago, I was recording some concert announcements for an information-by-phone service.  There was a concert at which an ensemble was going to perform works by J.S. Bach and C.P.E. Bach.  At the time, there was no Internet access in the office, and there was no music reference book handy.  I asked my supervisor, "I know that J.S. Bach is Johann Sebastian Bach, but what does C.P.E. stand for in the other Bach composer's name?"  Neither of us knew, so she called her father, a Classical music aficionado, and asked.  Her father replied, "Carl Philipp Emanuel."

It had to have been at least a little more satisfying to be a music aficionado in pre-Google times.